One Man’s Journey: How I Quit Porn and Why I’m Not Going Back

I remember when I first discovered internet porn – I was 17 years old (1).  Fascinated by this world of unleashed sexual expression and fantasy, I couldn’t get enough of it. As I grew up and began exploring my own sexuality, I discovered…
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Beauty in the Breakdown: How a Bike Accident Cracked Open my Heart

A Single Fateful Moment 6:44am - Jan 21st, 2015: Bicycle wheels slice through humid air in the quiet pre-dawn darkness, as I glide down the winding pavement road. Car lights illuminate the faintly falling rain, as the drivers rush past.…
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My Vulnerable Truth: Exploring Masculinity Beneath the Mask

I’ve spent most of my life with a mask on. It’s painful to admit, but it’s true. I’ve worn the mask of numbness in an attempt to protect myself from rejection and disappointment; I’ve worn the mask of superficial satire in an attempt…
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Sacred Masculinity: Learning To Live My Truth As A Wholehearted Man

For many years, I was ashamed of my masculinity. I was deeply disturbed by all the aggression, misogyny, and violence that I saw being perpetrated by men - across many different cultures. It seemed that being a “real man” meant being…
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Let’s Be Real: From Superficial Interaction to Meaningful Connection

I remember hearing the story of a man who retired after a 30-year office career. He was astonished and saddened to discover that, looking back, it was as if every day was the same. It felt like the past 30 years of his life was only memorable…
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Confronting My Privilege: The Path to Radical Self-Awareness

As a man who is committed to personal growth, interpersonal healing, and systemic change, I am constantly trying to cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness. I believe that the only way to truly be of service to others is to know myself deeply…

Why Don’t You Cry About It? Part 2: Unlocking the Power of Tears

In my last post, Why Don’t You Cry About It? Part 1: The Fear of Letting Go, I talked about how I took-on the belief that men aren’t supposed to cry, I outlined the many ways that my defense mechanisms have kept me numb, and I shared a call…

Why Don’t You Cry About It? Part 1: The Fear of Letting Go

As a kid who experienced bullying in school, I learned quickly that vulnerability = weakness. Like so many teenage boys, I was bombarded with messages like “stop crying,” “man up,” and “don’t be such a pussy.” I was told that I…

Transforming the Culture of Violence: Empathy Starts From Within

Yesterday afternoon, a 26 year-old white male gunman shot 4 people at Seattle Pacific University, just minutes from where I am staying in Northwest Seattle. One of the victims, a 20-year-old man, is dead. And another, a 20-year-old woman, is…
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The Beauty of Conflict: Knowing When It’s Time to “HALT”

Have you ever gotten in an argument with someone you love? Have you ever lost your temper? Ever punched a hole in the wall? I have. Relationship difficulties are a reality. Even the best relationships include conflict. But this isn't necessarily…