One Man’s Journey: How I Quit Porn and Why I’m Not Going Back

I remember when I first discovered internet porn – I was 17 years old (1).  Fascinated by this world of unleashed sexual expression and fantasy, I couldn’t get enough of it. As I grew up and began exploring my own sexuality, I discovered…
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Should White Male Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) Exist?

Last Friday, I was invited to be a panelist at a LinkedIn Audio event hosted by Raven Solomon entitled “White Male ERGS - Should They Exist?”  Since our session wasn’t recorded (LinkedIn Audio does not yet offer that feature), I’ve…
Photo by Jonas Togo from Pexels
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Embracing Emotions: Showing Up Instead Of Shutting Down

I still remember the exact day. November 14th, 2015. Two friends and I had just finished co-leading a men’s training in the mountains above LA. We had spent the weekend device-free, exploring healthy masculinity with a large group of men.  That…
Initiation
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Hazed Into Manhood: Inviting A Return To Sacred Male Initiation

We used to be initiated into manhood; now we are hazed into manhood. In middle school, bullies used to single me out. I think I was an easy target. I wasn’t tough or popular. They used to ask, “why are you so sensitive?” But they…
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Getting Real: Talking About Pornography & Sexuality with Middle School Boys

I was recently invited to facilitate a discussion about pornography and sexuality with a classroom full of 7th grade boys. With this being such an important and rarely-addressed topic for boys at this formative age, I was happy to say yes. Research…
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Beauty in the Breakdown: How a Bike Accident Cracked Open my Heart

A Single Fateful Moment 6:44am - Jan 21st, 2015: Bicycle wheels slice through humid air in the quiet pre-dawn darkness, as I glide down the winding pavement road. Car lights illuminate the faintly falling rain, as the drivers rush past.…
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My Vulnerable Truth: Exploring Masculinity Beneath the Mask

I’ve spent most of my life with a mask on. It’s painful to admit, but it’s true. I’ve worn the mask of numbness in an attempt to protect myself from rejection and disappointment; I’ve worn the mask of superficial satire in an attempt…
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Sacred Masculinity: Learning To Live My Truth As A Wholehearted Man

For many years, I was ashamed of my masculinity. I was deeply disturbed by all the aggression, misogyny, and violence that I saw being perpetrated by men - across many different cultures. It seemed that being a “real man” meant being…
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Courage to Quit: How I’m Outgrowing Pornography and Re-awakening My Sexuality

If you are a human being alive in the 21st century, chances are you have an opinion about porn. Maybe you use it; maybe you don’t. Maybe you think it’s good; maybe you think it’s bad; maybe you think it’s none of my business. Fine.…

Embrace Your Fear: 5 Reasons Why It’s Time to Stop Playing Small

I always wanted to belong; to feel connected, feel loved, feel alive. I wanted people to like me, to respect me, to recognize my contribution in the world. I wanted to do something worth remembering, to create something beautiful, to help heal…
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I Love You, Man: 5 Tips for Stepping Into More Mature Masculinity

I grew up never telling anyone that I loved them. Not even my parents. The word “love” used to feel too feminine, too emotional, too vulnerable. As a young man impacted by old masculine norms, there was no room for love in my vocabulary.…